The Dickgieser Chronicles - Geoff and Marsha's Grand Adventure: Poltergeist

I woke up this morning, Halloween of all days, with a funny memory in my head. It's nice to wake up with a smile. I thought I'd share it with you all. This is not really following with our road trip but more of a throwback to our sailing days. Full of long lost pictures! Enjoy!!

Rumbling volcano of Mount Yasur in the background. Loved the island of Tanna, Vanuatu. 2011

Soren Larsen, sailing in Tonga, 2011
(if you look closely, you can see a very tiny Peter standing on the forward mast on whale lookout)

Soren Larsen at rest of Aitutaki, Cook Islands, 2011

In 2011, Geoff and I were working and sailing aboard the Tall Ship, Søren Larsen, in the South Pacific. Now I can't remember what island we were at but I do remember the day being bright, sunny, warm and generally just really pleasant. I was sitting out on deck enjoying the morning when a guest comes up to me looking like he'd seen a ghost. He was panicking and frustrated.

Looking up at the rig of Soren Larsen from the bow, 2011

Guest: "My wife thinks there's a Poltergeist in our cabin!!"

Me: "I'm sorry? What?"
Guest: "A Poltergeist! There's a Poltergeist in our cabin!!! It's coming out from under the bed!! DO SOMETHING! My wife is speaking in tongues!"

I tried to hold back my smiles and laughter and calmy asked him to wait here on deck while I went to "investigate". I went below and lightly knocked on their cabin door only to hear mumbling and sobbing coming from the other side. I cracked open the door to find our terrified guest sitting on the edge of her bunk, cross necklace in hand, rocking back and forth, mumbling various bible verses and staring at the floor with a petrified look on her face.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

She looked up at me without blinking and with tears streamed down her face she shook her head "no" without breaking from her whispered prayers.

I looked at the floor and saw a thick, white goo leaking out from under the adjacent bunk. I kneeled on the floor and gently put my hand on her knee and assured her everything would be ok. I crouched down and bravely went to touch this mysterious entity...

Suddenly I was attacked and smashed my head against the wall! The air filled with screams...

"DON'T TOUCH IT!!!!" The guest had tackled me to save me from touching the "Poltergeist". It hurt.
I calmed her down again and told her it was ok. Promise!

By now I knew exactly what had happened. The scent gave everything away. You see on tall ships, (and every other boat and ship on the high seas) every inch of space is used as storage and we had been at sea for months rocking back and forth; back and forth. And as any sailor worth his salt can tell you; chafe is the enemy.

Soren Larsen motoring out to Ball's Pyramid off Lord Howe Island, Australia, 2011

Soren Larsen at anchor in the lagoon at Niautoputapu, Tonga as the sun sets, 2011

I went in again to touch this hideous monster and dipped my finger in it. She shrieked. I jumped. On rubbing my fingers together and bringing my hands to my face to breathe in it's "aura" my suspicions were confirmed...

White, minty, toilet bowl cleaner.

I had stored a ton of cleaning supplies in this cabin and one container had rubbed and chafed through the plastic sending a terrifying white Poltergeist into the cabin. After calming her and her husband down I explained what had happened. They both felt hugely embarrassed I'm sure. These guests, newlyweds in their mid-20s, had given me the laugh of a century.

I cleaned the cabin and the storage under the bunk and left them with the cleanest, freshest smelling cabin on the ship.

Moral of the story is: use your head. Investigate. Things aren't always as they seem. Be brave.

... also, make sure you pack things well, where they won't break or chafe and terrify people...